Daily Archives: April 26, 2013

The Reluctant Fundamentalist

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Pain & Gain

Pain & Gain Movie Review

R, 129 m., 2013

Mark Wahlberg (Daniel Lugo), Dwayne Johnson (Paul Doyle), Anthony Mackie (Adrian Doorbal), Tony Shalhoub (Victor Kershaw), Ed Harris (Ed DuBois), Rob Corddry (John Mese), Bar Paly (Sorina Luminita), Rebel Wilson (Robin Peck), Ken Jeong (Johnny Wu), Michael Rispoli (Frank Griga), Keili Lefkovitz (Krisztina Furton), Emily Rutherfurd (Carolyn ‘Cissy’ DuBois), Larry Hankin (Pastor Randy), Tony Plana (Captain Lopez), Peter Stormare (Dr. Bjornson). Directed by Michael Bay and produced by Bay, Ian Bryce, Donald De Line. Screenplay by Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely, based on the magazine articles by Pete Collins.

Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain is something like the Thin Red Line of crime comedies (or would that be Martin Scorsese’s Casino?), with the attention span of someone going through Riddlin withdrawal. With its multiple perspective narration and hyperkinetic style, I’m reminded of that description of Christopher Walken’s character in Tony Scott’s Domino (2005): “like a ferret on crystal meth.” Still, this is the most coherently-filmed Bay film since…I dunno, Bad Boys (1995)? Continue reading

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Midnight’s Children

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The Company You Keep

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The Big Wedding

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Arthur Newman

R, 101 m., 2012

Emily Blunt (Mike), Colin Firth (Arthur Newman), Anne Heche (Mina Crawley), Kristin Lehman (Mary Alice Wells), Sterling Beaumon (Grant Wells), M. Emmet Walsh (Zazek), Nicole LaLiberte (Hipster Sarah), Autumn Dial (Charyl), David Andrews (Chuck Willoughby), Sharon Conley (Unemployment Official (as Sharon Morris)), Peter Jurasik (Bus Driver), Lucas Hedges (Kevin Avery), Steve Coulter (Owen Hadley), Michael Beasley (Detective #2), L. Warren Young (Deputy). Directed by Dante Ariola and produced by Mac Cappuccino, Becky Johnston, Brian Oliver, and Alisa Tager. Screenplay by Johnston.

This is one boring movie! If watching paint dry ever becomes an Olympic sport, I should win a frickin’ Gold Medal for enduring it. To call it dull as dishwater would be an insult to both dishes and their cleansing liquid. You know a film isn’t going well when the most exciting part is your getting a nosebleed halfway through and having to go to the bathroom for 5 minutes to clean it up. When I got back, nothing much had changed. So what could be so boring, you ask? I give you Arthur Newman – a drably filmed, mind-numbingly plotted, blandly acted American road movie starring those two shining stars of British cinema, Colin Firth and Emily Blunt. Take it. Please. Continue reading

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